Cross Your Fingers Because I am Not Above Breaking out the Bedazzler

24 Jun

I am a plus-sized woman. Before I was a plus-sized woman, I was a plus-sized girl, and before that, I was a plus-sized baby.  I did a tweet once that said “I wear the same size clothes now as before I had my children. Probably the best thing about having always been fat”. As I’ve written before, I’m fine with the word fat. I claimed that sucker AGES ago. It is not hurtful to me. I occasionally still hear “you are not fat, you are beautiful” to which I answer, “BITCH, I’m both”, more or less depending on who it is. I know it’s not meant as an insult, it’s just sometimes very difficult for some people to see the two as not mutually exclusive, and that’s fine. I’m not out to change the world, I am who I am, someone who is comfortable in her own skin (and perhaps someone with an over-inflated sense of self…but that’s for another blog).

This is not about my delusional self-image or the fact that sometimes I call people “bitch” when they are just trying to be complimentary. This is far more important than that. This is about clothes, and how now that I am a larger woman of a “certain age” that there are hardly ANY that appeal to me.

I truly think that no matter your body style, age, or stature in life, that you should wear whatever the hell you want to wear that makes you feel good and/or is comfortable. As a plus-size 43-year-old woman who is currently shopping for a cocktail dress to wear to her niece’s wedding in August, I am finding my options are –

  1. sack
  2. sack with bolero jacket
  3. sequin sack
  4. sequin sack with bolero jacket
  5. lace sack

There are a few other choices, but since I have been in this body for a long time, I know what I feel comfortable in and what I like and I would simply not feel pretty or be comfortable in something without sleeves, or straps, or in something with cap sleeves. I have a waist and would like something with waist definition. I realize I also might have some odd ideas about what I look good in, so I have looked to some style contemporaries for guidance.


adele…what the ever-loving hell is THIS? Plus-sized gals are told that black is slimming. This does NOT mean, however, to put on every item of black clothing you own and call it a day.

melissamccarthyHow about dressy looks for Melissa McCarthy? I love her. She’s so funny and…dammit Melissa no. Granted, this has a waist, and sleeves, but everything else about it is terrible and that color washes her completely out. I hope she felt good in this but it is not doing anything for me.

Just like other disasters in my lifetime,  I remember exactly where I was when I saw her in this dress at the Oscars in 2012. I gasped, and not in a good way. Earlier this year, I saw the Bravo show, Dukes of Melrose that featured stylist and vintage clothes guru Cameron Silver and his quest to find something for her to wear to the ceremony. Granted, he didn’t have much time at all, which made it worse, but the options were this and a hefty bag with a spangly belt.

This dress, that Melissa wore to the Critics Choice Movie Awards in 2012, is much more my style and I love it. I think it may be a little much for a wedding, though.  Even in Las Vegas.

17th Annual Critics Choice Movie Awards - Arrivals






While searching, I am seeing a lot of peplums, both in designs for plus-sizes and misses sizes. I can’t think peplum without thinking I would look like this






BUT, another of my favorite actresses who rocks her figure is Octavia Spencer and I found a picture of her wearing a dress with a peplum and she looks NOTHING like the hippo from Fantasia pictured above.



Adorable. She is wearing Tadashi Shoji, a designer she wears often SO…light bulb moment, buy something from his collection! I am so brilliant, right? Okay, here we go, gorgeous, not too crazy expensive, wait, not in my size. Okay, moving on to another. Not in my size. Moving on…NOT IN MY SIZE. Okay, here is one in my size, it’s very matronly and is about $400 out of my price range and has no sleeves. Most of these do not have sleeves, and in fact, a version of the dress Octavia is wearing above does not have sleeves, so fine, I guess when you’re an Oscar-winning actress you can tell the designer to modify dresses for you. Must be NICE (seriously, that must be really nice).

After much searching and aggravation, I stumbled upon a couple of dresses that I really think I love and that will look good on me. Of course, they are at a store that is not in my town BUT, I will travel to my sister’s house in the town where the store is located, go to the store, try them on, THEN, order the one I like the best on eBay, because although I am a fashionista, I am a broke one, and I have found them BOTH on eBay.

These are the two main contenders that I was SO excited to find. I was not so excited to read that lace dresses were just everywhere and would be totally OUT soon, to which I say “I DON’T CARE THESE ARE MY ONLY OPTIONS AND I LOVE THEM”.



When I was a little plus-sized girl, I had a pair of overalls that were blinged out with crystals and rainbow patches. They were every bit as amazing as you may think and I wore them all the time. If these dresses don’t work out, I am sure my niece would be okay with me bedazzling some overalls. I felt good in them and I loved them  and I JUST may be at the point in my life where my family can just say “oh in the overalls? That’s Amy” and that explains everything.


21 Responses to “Cross Your Fingers Because I am Not Above Breaking out the Bedazzler”

  1. peacelovegreatcountrymusic June 24, 2013 at 11:01 pm #

    Have you tried – they have some great dresses. I know you’ll find something fabulous, wherever it is.

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

      Thanks, and I have not tried them, but I will check them out. I was hoping to find something that I could try on, then buy cheaper on eBay. I will keep everybody posted and hells yes, I’ll be fabulous, either way 🙂

  2. Miss Molly June 24, 2013 at 11:19 pm #

    I second CJBanks…I go up and down and have been up for a few years now. You’re lucky to have a waist – mine went to Albuquerque or someplace, so I do a long slender skirt, a top and a thrift shop Chico’s linen shirt…I also am a big fan of scarves which tend to pull the eye away from the missing waist. And great shoes are a must…
    With your good heart, you’ll look great no matter what!!! Post pictures. By the way, Drop Dead Diva has been one of my favorite shows…Have you seen it? Great outfits for our bigger selves…

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:39 pm #

      I love Drop Dead Diva and that scarf idea is a really good one, somebody else mentioned getting a sleeveless dress, if I HAVE to, and using a scarf as a bit of color and a way to hide my FAS (fat arm syndrome). I will post pictures 🙂 Thank you!! Big hugs to you my dear.

  3. contrarymom June 25, 2013 at 9:14 am #

    You are gonna be hot in either black dress! I love your confidence!

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

      Thanks so much!! xoxoxo

  4. contrarymom June 25, 2013 at 9:18 am #

    Reblogged this on Contrary Mom and commented:
    Goosebumps from this post by Amy at Memoirs of a Mom Who Ticks… hell yeah, Amy! You do you!

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:41 pm #

      How sweet of you to reblog my post!! Thanks doll!

  5. Jessica Slavin June 25, 2013 at 12:09 pm #

    If you were in Milwaukee, I’d tell you to go here:

    Have you checked out igigi and kiyonna dresses? They have been some of my favorites.

    I love this post. Good luck!

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:42 pm #

      Hi! Thank you and yes, I LOVE Igigi. There are several on there I have my eye on. I really wanted to try on something, but if I don’t procrastinate I should be able to buy one and return it if I don’t like it.

      Thank you for reading!!!

  6. mainelysane June 25, 2013 at 12:56 pm #

    All clothes for plus sized women look like they were made for 70 year old women or clowns. I hate shopping for clothes for that exact reason! I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking our choices suck.

    I love the second dress you are looking at. I always go for the empire waist dresses. That way, I know for certain that everyone is looking at my boobs not the jiggling going on below. And I’m okay with that!

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:44 pm #

      HA! YES, I’m perfectly okay with highlighting my boobs over my stomach and I know, plus sized clothes really vacillate between silly and matronly. There is very little middle ground for some reason.

      Thanks! I will post pictures of whatever I end up wearing. I am so excited to be able to take nice pictures of my boys in suits and me in a fancy dress! First time EVER!

  7. bensbitterblog June 25, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    My style is all about the comfort and nothing about how good I look. I can’t wait to hear how the weeding, uh wedding went.

    • Amy June 26, 2013 at 12:44 pm #


  8. Jonathan Caswell June 26, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

    Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:

    • Amy June 27, 2013 at 9:12 am #

      I have such mixed feelings about this post being re-blogged a couple of times. I am glad people like it, but I am kind of sad that it is such a rarity to NOT hate the body one is in that it must be celebrated. My hope is that someday body acceptance will be the default state, not self-hatred.

      Thanks so much for reading! I look forward to reading your blog as well.

  9. A.J. Goode July 17, 2013 at 9:09 pm #

    “Bitch, I’m both”. Best line EVER.

    • Amy July 31, 2013 at 6:33 pm #

      Thanks! I may not verbally say it, but I definitely think it every time.


  1. Your Long Wait is Over, My Friends | Memoirs of a Mom Who Ticks - July 31, 2013

    […] who maybe don’t read my blog regularly, or who suffer from short-term memory loss, here is a link to the post I am referring […]

  2. Your Long Wait is Over, My Friends | - July 31, 2013

    […] you who maybe don’t read my blog regularly, or who suffer from short-term memory loss, here is a link to the post I am referring […]

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