It’s a Boy. Two, Actually

30 May

booksThe last day of school is approaching in T – 4 days. Tuesday, June 4, is the day. The day I have circled in red marker on my calendar. I have never looked so forward to the end of a school year in my life.  Not even when I was the student. It’s so much more stressful as the parent.

It’s been tough, as any and all of you who read this blog on any kind of regular basis know. If you don’t read on a regular basis, let me sum it up – eldest son lost his mind this year, his first year of middle school, and decided to do as little as possible AND do everything with a terrible attitude and argue everything from the color of the sky to his middle name (slight exaggerations MAYBE).

Thanks to his super freak out plus modern conveniences like school websites that show practically up to the minute updates on his progress, (or shows what homework I know he DID, but did not turn in for whatever reason) as well as teachers (and I do appreciate it) emailing and letting us know what we knew already because of the websites, his dad  and I have been big balls of stress this year.

Facebook updates from parents who seem to never have any problems or issues with their kids certainly don’t help, nor do reading comments on those posts that say things like “that’s a reflection of great parenting!” True, it probably is, but that means that we are NOT great parents?  But I know I’m a wear my heart on my sleeve parent, and person, and many parents, and people, feel the need to present a certain front. I should probably do that…but I don’t.

It also seems that I have read many tug your heart-strings stories about kids who are saddled with the task of raising their siblings while working a part-time job and living in a box all while maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA.  SO, as any concerned parent would do, next year I am kicking my 12-year-old out of the house. I am kidding, of course. It does make one wonder just what the hell factors are present that motivate some children and how I can do the same.

My kids are awesome. I just want them to do the best they can do and my eldest has not done that this year. They are both so clever and  could do anything, and anything is what I want them to do. I want the world to be their oyster, not their dried up chicken nugget. I really should have eaten dinner before writing this.

So here we are at the end of the year, and even though math camp and some extra work on math programs loom in the summer horizon for my 12-year-old, the summer will be so much more relaxed than the school year.   I can be a mom again, not some stressed out drill sergeant wildly clutching my chest as I vacillate between helicopter parent and letting  my kids have autonomy and dealing with the consequences  on their own if/when they don’t do what is expected of them. I can also get to know my kids again.

About 10 times this year I have said “that’s it! I can’t do it. I’m done with this” to my friends and/or the boys dad.  I’m not even sure what I meant, but I imagine I meant I was done with this being a grown up responsible parent thing. This summer, I’m going to be less of one. We all deserve a break dammit. We’re going to try all the new frozen yogurt places in town (Three have opened in the last few months) and stay up until 10 and go to the beach and start with a clean slate in August.   I have missed my boys.

We have had plenty of talks about how the behavior that was exhibited this year, will not be exhibited next year. He understands, he says that he had trouble adjusting this year. I nodded my head and agreed with him and gave him a big hug rather than going over in detail any issues he has had. We’ve already done that. And this is the beginning of a stress less summer. EXHALE.

sand heart

17 Responses to “It’s a Boy. Two, Actually”

  1. donofalltrades May 30, 2013 at 9:23 am #

    No sense in rehashing what’s already done, right? Summer sounds like just what you guys need. I’m dreading the boys getting to that age. My daughter is going into 5th grade next year. She’s the youngest in her class, and we used to wonder if we should have kept her back instead of putting her in first grade when we did (she made the magic cutoff by 4 days). Anyway, we moved to a new house in a great school district when she was in 2nd grade, and after a bit of a struggle that year, it’s been 2 years of smooth sailing. I can’t say enough how proud I am of her and pleased I am with the new school. Anyway, long story short, your son sounds like a sharp kid. Maybe the adjustment to middle school was difficult for him. I remember being his age. The next 5 or so years of his life are going to be his most difficult. Between school and girls and fitting in with friends, and home duties (Ha, I said duty!) it’s a lot for a young man. Anyway, I’m stepping of my little box now. Good luck!

    • Amy May 30, 2013 at 10:23 am #

      Thank you! I really do know that these are tough years and that he is going to naturally have a tough time. It’s just the nature of the beast. I just had no idea HOW tough! BUT, he’s a great kid, I am just definitely looking forward to the respite.

      Good luck to you! Glad your daughter is doing well and I am sure your boys will too.

  2. bensbitterblog May 30, 2013 at 9:54 am #

    I pretty much hate doing homework. I did it when I was a kid, I shouldn’t have to do it again as an adult. I can’t wait for your summer to begin. Ours is still a few more weeks! Arghhh!

    • Amy May 30, 2013 at 10:23 am #

      OH man. I hope these last few weeks go by fast for you!

  3. Michelle May 30, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

    June 7th is also highlighted and circled on my calendar as the last day of school!! While my stresses were a bit different, I am soooo looking forward to a few months of NOT doing this!!!

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:44 pm #

      Almost there Michelle! Yes, summer parenting is so much more enjoyable!!

  4. mollytopia May 30, 2013 at 1:32 pm #

    Oh girl. I’m sorry you had such a shit academic year with your oldest, but your summer plans sound perfect. I’d like to join you please. You’re a fantastic mom – kids are their own individual selves no matter what we say and do sometimes. We had a rough start to our year (new school) and it took almost the entire year for Anna to adjust. Some kids take longer than others. I hope your time off together this summer will be just what he needs.

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm #

      Thank you Molly! You can join us any time you would like.

      Thank you so much and you know, you are right. They are who they are.

      So glad Anna adjusted and I hope your summer is awesome too!

  5. mollytopia May 30, 2013 at 1:35 pm #

    I also meant to say I particularly loved: I want the world to be their oyster, not their dried up chicken nugget. Hilarious AND true. Well done as always!

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm #

      Thank you! Always so glad to see your comments 🙂

  6. pattypetal May 30, 2013 at 2:14 pm #

    From your mouth to the Gods of Summer’s ears. It was a hard year for you both. Kick back, relax and enjoy. I will help whenever asked. Love you all.

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm #

      You are a huge help mom. Thank you. It will be a good summer!

      Love you guys too.

  7. muddledmom May 30, 2013 at 9:02 pm #

    I look forward to summer every year so we can all just be. My son has one more year till middle school and I dread it. I remember the hell that it was. As for those FB posts, those people clearly are only posting about a percentage of their lives. Where’s the humor in life if nothing but perfect things happen? I find it rather charming when my son is upstairs mad at me and my husband calls to say he has emailed him about what I said no to.

    I hope your summer is great.

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:49 pm #

      Thank you so much. What a great way to look at it. You’re right, humor in life is a necessity.

      I remember 6th grade as being pretty much hell also.

      Thank you! I think summer will be just what we need. I hope yours is great as well!

  8. peacelovegreatcountrymusic May 30, 2013 at 10:02 pm #

    Wow, I didn’t realize there were kids still in school, the schools let out in my area two weeks ago. Hang in there! I haven’t followed your blog very long, but I am enjoying it. I hope my followers will check yours out, so I included you in my Best Moment Award. If you don’t accept awards, that’s okay. If you do, details are on my page.

    • Amy June 3, 2013 at 5:51 pm #

      Thank you so much! I will head over to your blog shortly, but I wanted to thank you before I forgot again, which I have done for the past 2 days.

      I am glad you are enjoying my blog and thanks once again for the award!

      Tomorrow is the last day of school! YAY! I hope you have a wonderful summer!

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