Hi, I’m the Idiot Mom Crying in the Tae Kwon Do Studio

6 May

I have written a lot about my 12-year old son, we’ll call him Sport. Sport is going through a “rough patch” right about now. I call it a “rough patch” to remind myself that it is not permanent. It’s just a “patch”, like something you put on a tire when it springs a leak. It’s not the permanent fix, it’s just a “patch”. You can drive on it for a while, but that sucker’s gonna blow. This is a terrible analogy that came off sounding very violent so I apologize. I think everyone knows what I mean when I say “patch” so let’s move on.

I have joked that my youngest son, let’s call him Rowdy, who is 8, is raising himself because of all of the attention that Sport is receiving right now, but that at least he is doing a great job of it. It is a joke, but I do find myself sometimes pouring all of my energy into Sport.  Getting him to do anything is a Herculean feat, and I do mean anything from homework to chores to showering.  He can be an exhausting kid that leaves not much else in the way of attention for my littlest one.

Sport knows that he can be difficult, and he always apologizes. I have been trying to impress upon him the importance of changing his behavior, rather than apologizing for it afterwards, but so far it hasn’t sunk in.

BUT, this is just the way it is. It’s a “rough patch”. A TEMPORARY “ROUGH PATCH” dammit. It is. It is. I say this to myself while curled up in the fetal position rocking back and forth sometimes. I’m kidding. It’s all the time.

Which brings me to why I was crying in the Tae Kwon Do Studio this weekend. Rowdy has been big into martial arts for a couple of years. His after school program is at his Tae Kwon Do studio and he loves it. He was recently chosen for the demo team, which means he gets to learn a weapon and go to schools and march in parades as a representative of the studio. He was so psyched that for his first demo class, he had us go 45 minutes before class started just to be sure we made it on time. The studio, mind you, is within walking distance, though it rained that day so we didn’t walk, but it is about 20 seconds away from our house.

In demo class the instructors had the kids do pretty much whatever they wanted to at the end, to try to help bring them out of their shells so they would all be more comfortable performing. It’s hard for some of them because Tae Kwon Do is all about discipline and form and in demo class they need to step outside of those parameters to show off.

My baby boy was a little reserved at first with his nun-chucks. The instructor told him that she knows he is not shy, and that he should just go crazy. He looked over at me with an expression that said “should I?” so I nodded, yes, go crazy with those things…and he did. He was flipping and rolling and whipping those things over his head like a helicopter and soon all of the kids were clapping in rhythm to his moves, and then the parents joined in and I sat there, crying, at this wondrous little creature who really was doing a bang-up job raising himself.

It really is so easy for me to get caught up in only negatives. I feel like I am harping on both of them to do homework,eat dinner,take a shower, let the dog out, help me with laundry, go to bed,  over and over every day. It feels like I am barking orders at them sometimes and though I freely admit that I don’t know what I’m doing regarding this parenting thing, that can’t be right. So, while I sat there, crying in the Tae Kwon Do Studio, which is going to be the name of my next album featuring country love songs set in Japan,  I made myself a promise to try harder to recognize the good things that both of the boys do and they both DO good things.

We went to Best Buy later that day so Sport could use a gift card that he got for his birthday in April. He used it on a game that his brother wanted more than he did. When he gave it to him, he said “good job making it on the demo team”. Stay tuned for my next post, “Hi, I’m the idiot mom crying in Best Buy”.

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25 Responses to “Hi, I’m the Idiot Mom Crying in the Tae Kwon Do Studio”

  1. Toni Freeman May 6, 2013 at 4:27 pm #

    Oh, Amy, this post made me laugh and cry so hard I peed myself a tiny bit. You’re doing a great job as a mom and you’re a pretty damn good writer, too…one of the highlights of my day, for sure! Keep up the good work and keep the tissues handy……from what I’ve heard, the tears don’t end anytime soon xox

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 4:55 pm #

      Thank you Toni! Yeah, I’ve heard the tears don’t stop anytime soon. Cannot believe I’m one of those crying moms. This is because I used to make fun of my mom for crying all the time. Long distance carrier commercials, coffee commercials, Little House on the Prairie episodes. The woman cried all the time. I am that woman now. Damn karma.

  2. donofalltrades May 6, 2013 at 4:32 pm #

    Lol, you’re an idiot, but you deserve it. They sound like a couple of fine blokes! My daughter is big on failing to do something and just apologizing afterwards. It’s frustrating, but she’s such a good kid that it’s hard for me to get mad at her. Oh well, I guess we’re all trying to figure out how to get them out of the house as semi-productive members of society as best we can.

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 6:15 pm #

      HA! Don, your comments always make me laugh.

      You are right, I have told the boys a few times that my job is to get them to adulthood to become productive members of society…some days that seems like a daunting task.

  3. Miss Molly May 6, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

    Oh, I loved this… It’s always those sweet moments that bring on the tears…Your boys both sound great and that’s because you’re doing such a great job! xo

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 6:16 pm #

      Thank you Miss Molly, as always. xoxo

  4. Erika May 6, 2013 at 4:35 pm #

    Amy – great post AGAIN! I feel like I am always “that mom” crying. haha
    I try to check my tone and remember that guidance sinks in. You are doing a GREAT job and you have two really amazing boys!

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

      Thank you lovely Erika!! Your little man is quite an amazing child himself. Hope we can get together sometime soon!

  5. bensbitterblog May 6, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

    The only difference I have is that instead of crying I’m yelling and instead of 12 year old it is a 8 year old. And instead of a boy it is a girl. So no difference at all.

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 6:16 pm #

      OMG Ben, it’s like we’re TWINS!

      • bensbitterblog May 6, 2013 at 6:40 pm #

        Except I’m the evil, bitter twin. And you are the nice, loving mother twin.

      • Amy May 6, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

        Well, there is always an evil twin…I guess that’s you 😛

  6. datinginvegas May 6, 2013 at 7:36 pm #

    Amy this is great! Kids are hard to raise but it sounds like Sport has a good heart. That’s what matters. Kids are supposed to challenge and be stupid and rebel a little. I mean they don’t come with instruction manuals. However, I happen to take Tae Kwon Do and you are NOT supposed to cry there-but the hardest thing in the world to do is take your heart out and allow it to walk around and become his/her own person. Great writing as usual. I loved it and if you wanna be the baby la la that cries in the TKD studio, you go for it. You’re still awesome in my book.

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 8:27 pm #

      Lovely comment as usual and thank you! The boys say I cry everywhere, all the time, but they usually exaggerate. This day, however, was a tear-filled day for sure.

      You are awesome in my book too 🙂

  7. muddledmom May 6, 2013 at 7:58 pm #

    I can so relate. I feel like I hit my breaking point all the time. Just when I can’t possibly handle anymore, rough patch kid gets through it, is at peace again. Then the other kid hits a rough patch. 😉

    • Amy May 6, 2013 at 8:26 pm #

      Well, at least they’re taking turns 🙂 Thanks for reading and I’m sorry you can relate!

  8. mollytopia May 7, 2013 at 2:21 am #

    Happy idiot mom tears rule. Keep up the great work – you rock!

    • Amy May 7, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

      They do rule, don’t they!? Thank you Molly! YOU ROCK TOO. We rock 🙂

  9. writermomangela May 7, 2013 at 3:36 am #

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who sometimes thinks one kid is getting all her attention and randomly cries at the drop of a hormone, er, hat. 😉

    • Amy May 7, 2013 at 2:10 pm #

      You are NOT alone, my friend and I love that, drop of a hormone! Thanks for reading 🙂

  10. writermomangela May 7, 2013 at 3:36 am #

    I’m glad I’m not the only one who sometimes thinks one kid is getting all her attention and randomly cries at the drop of a hormone, er, hat. 😉

    • Amy May 21, 2013 at 10:16 am #

      I’m so sorry, not sure how I missed this comment, but you are not alone! I can promise you that.

      • writermomangela May 21, 2013 at 3:07 pm #

        No problem 🙂

  11. pattypetal May 7, 2013 at 3:07 pm #

    And I am “crying at the computer screen”. Hang in there, they are fabulous boys with a fabulous mother.

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