Things Best Left Unsaid

16 Mar

Though I joke about having no filter and saying whatever comes to mind, I really don’t.  I tweeted earlier today that obviously I do not live by the doctrine of saying whatever I think or I would not still be employed.  However, sometimes I feel like if I don’t let these things out that I will explode, yet somehow, I manage to not alienate my friends, piss off my family, and stay employed, because I refrain from sharing with everyone exactly what I am thinking at all times. This self-control does not come without a price, however. These things must be said, or written at least. They simply MUST. Please, join me in this walk through my brain and the things that I have recently left unsaid.

I have been known to cut my own hair and slather homemade oatmeal complexion masks on my face. I’m a do it yourself beauty routine girl until it comes to my eyebrows. Ibrezhnev cannot keep them under control with just tweezers so every couple of weeks I fork over $10.00 and have them waxed. I don’t mind it until the woman who waxes them asks if I want my top lip done as well. Heady words for someone who wants a tip. Just the eyebrows, thanks. This past appointment she also asked me something else that was puzzling. She asked me if I wanted the left one to look like the right one. I truly had to stop myself from saying “Let’s mix it up this time. Let’s go full Brezhnev with the right and Marlena Dietrich on the left. You may actually have to add hair to achieve the Brezhnev, BUT, how about you take the hair from the Dietrich side and glue it to the hair into the Brezhnev side. GENIUS!” Of course I simply said “yes, thank you” and left it at that.

A friend told me that she read something about dating and she thought of me. What she read is that people unfold as you get to know them. She went on to tell me that I don’t give men enough of a chance and I am quick to shut them down and blah blah blah not sure what else she was saying because I was thinking that yes, she was right, people DO unfold and I have met quite a few that I wanted to work on folding back up and shoving into a glove compartment, much like a map, but those things are impossible to fold again and does anybody even use a map anymore? I have a GPS system, thank goodness, and I can imagine the map industry is taking a hurting because if you don’t have a GPS just about every phone has a map app that you can download. What I said was “something to ponder for sure. Thank you for thinking of me.”

Probably the most difficult of all was when I didn’t agree with my 11-year-old when he told me he would never use algebra again. I told him that I have no doubt that he will use it as an adult just as much as I have. I did not tell him that I have, in fact, never used it. It is nothing short of a miracle that he did not press the subject further.

wineI don’t like to use the word hero but really, this kind of tongue biting deserves a medal.  Or at least a glass of wine. Or maybe some medication for ADD because my mind tends to wander a bit now that I see this all in print. Let’s stick with wine.

6 Responses to “Things Best Left Unsaid”

  1. Miss Molly March 16, 2013 at 4:28 am #

    I love your bravery and your heart. Definitely deserve a medal. With a ribbon. It will say “Awarded for courage and humor in the face of life or whatever this mess is called.” But no smiley face, I promise.

    • Amy March 18, 2013 at 10:54 pm #

      Thank you! I would proudly wear that medal. Thanks so much for reading.

  2. MissFourEyes March 16, 2013 at 1:18 pm #

    Maybe the woman who waxes your eyebrows thought you wanted a new quizical look. One up one down. A woman gave me that once. Never went back to her, but for four weeks I looked like I was constantly surprised

    • Amy March 18, 2013 at 10:52 pm #

      OH my goodness…that is hilarious. NOW, after the fact anyway.

  3. muddledmom March 16, 2013 at 2:24 pm #

    Love the folding analogy and the map. I think I am that way with people in general. A medal, yes.

    • Amy March 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm #

      It’s amazing how often these things are NOT said…and it’s for the best I presume.

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