Calling Dr. Noah Drake

7 Mar

I turned 43 years old this past January. When I think of being that age I don’t think of it as being old or feel worried about growing older. However, there are some things that as a kid I thought for sure I would have done by now. home

I thought I would be a homeowner. Buying a home just seemed like something I would do. I have made peace with the fact that I probably will never own a home and honestly, I am very okay with that.  In a perfect world I could wave a magic wand and have spotless credit (HA!) and a big chunk of money for a down payment (DOUBLE HA!) but alas, I feel it is not to be. Even before racking up hefty medical bills a couple of years ago when I had heart surgery, I had virtually no credit.  Not to sound melodramatic, but I was on welfare a few years ago, while working full-time, just to give you an idea of what my income was like. It is better now, but I still live paycheck to paycheck. It’s just the way it is. My boys and I are in a safe place with a yard for the dog and I am not on welfare anymore. I don’t really care if I pay a landlord a rent payment every month or pay a bank a mortgage. It just doesn’t seem important to me anymore.

I thought I would have a “signature fragrance” and I thought it would be Chanel no 5. I have never even smelled Chanel no. 5, I can only imagine that I saw a beautiful print advertisement for it and it stuck with me.  The idea of wearing the same perfume so much that it made someone think of me whenever it wafted through the air is such a romantic one, isn’t it? I am fortunate in that my sister and my mom always make sure I have nice perfume. That sounds pathetic, but for Christmas they both happened to give me awesome perfumes. Right now, Estee Lauder Pleasures and Calvin Klein’s Euphoria are in heavy rotation, but I still love to rip perfume sample pages out of magazines and smear those on any chance I get.  I imagine it’s confusing for people that I don’t have a “signature fragrance.” (TRIPLE HA!)

When I was a kid I was in awe of my mother. I still am really. She is such an amazing mix of strength and grace. I think of her as never inappropriate.scarlett She always knows what to do and say. I thought I would just GET THAT through genetics or by osmosis I guess. I wanted to be a mixture of Scarlett O’Hara and my mom. The sass of Scarlett with the class of my mom.  It is looking like that is not going to happen. I am constantly sticking my foot in my mouth and backpedaling. I have the sass more or less, but class is debateable.  I am afraid I will continue to careen into inappropriate town with a side trip into goofball as often as possible.  Thanks for nothing MOM.

rickspringfield_generalhospital_240

I really thought I would have married Rick Springfield, though not Rick Springfield, but Rick Springfield as Dr. Noah Drake on General Hospital. Of all the things I thought I would have, this one stings the most.

Expectations change as we age. Now I am less concerned about where I live and more concerned with who lives with me…meaning my children. After having the boys my “signature fragrance” for a while was spit up. I cherish those baby days now. As Popeye said, I am who I am. Not EXACTLY who I thought I would be, and a continuous work in progress, but I’m pretty okay with how I am progressing. As for Rick Springfield, I think he’s single now, and I am sure he still has the doctor’s outfit,  though he would have to fight Zach Galifianakis for my from afar obsessive love and I just don’t know if he is up for that.

9 Responses to “Calling Dr. Noah Drake”

  1. kerbey March 7, 2013 at 3:59 am #

    did you catch mr springfield last night on late tv, singing w/ dave grohl from foo fighters? i swear he sold his soul to the devil because he looks the DAMN same as he did when i saw him in 1983 singing “affair of the heart” on stage, the same as he did as Noah Drake. so, see? even if you’d married him, you’d have to compete w/ his prettiness. i’m sure your beauty trumps zach’s any day.

    • Amy March 7, 2013 at 4:08 am #

      I DID NOT SEE THAT! I remember that 1983 tour though! And I must have watched “Hard to Hold” 200 times!

      Aww, I love your point, thank you 🙂 Thanks for reading.

  2. bensbitterblog March 7, 2013 at 5:33 am #

    Zach Galafinakas is pretty awesome. Isn’t he available? He would be a fool not sweep you off your feet!

    • Amy March 7, 2013 at 4:40 pm #

      RIGHT?

      🙂 Thank you Ben!

      • bensbitterblog March 7, 2013 at 4:54 pm #

        Just watching out for my favorite Mom Ticks writer. (You are the head writer for the website write(get it?)). Quotes within quotes. Very Inception, matrixy.

  3. Good Golly Miss Molly March 7, 2013 at 6:22 am #

    Love your honesty and humor. I was a single mom, too, and can identify with that. I was lucky and had a job – well, two to make ends meet for a couple of years. Not always easy but we did it, and my daughters remind me now and then of the spirit I had to get us through. I’m happy that’s the image they have of me. Sounds like you’re doing great! (I hope your mom reads your blog…)

    • Amy March 7, 2013 at 4:39 pm #

      Thank you! My mom does read my blog and I heard from her this morning after she read this. She had a graceful and appropriate thing to say, of course!

      I appreciate your kind words and no, things aren’t always easy, but we do what we have to do. I am doing great and it sounds like you are too!

      Thanks so much for reading!

  4. Grace March 7, 2013 at 4:30 pm #

    Nice post Amy.

    By 43 I owned my own house, had a signature fragrance, and had married (and divorced) the doctor. By 53 I lost my home through a short sale, that amazingly fabulous fragrance was no longer being produced, and had finally found the right man for me.

    I also raised two boys after my divorce – they continue to be the BEST thing that I ever did!

    Isn’t life wonderful? Like you, I could care less about the home or the fragrance, and I couldn’t be happier with my man. On top of that, I feel like the most successful woman in the world having raised two fine men.

    Happy day to you,
    Loretta (Grace)

    • Amy March 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm #

      I absolutely adore your comment and I greatly appreciate it.

      Life IS wonderful.

      Happy day to you too! Thanks so much for reading and for this lovely comment 🙂

      Amy

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