Lather, Rinse, Repeat

21 Feb

I have made it no secret that my 11 year old son is going through a bit of a difficult period. It certainly is difficult for all of us, I can only assume it is difficult for him. He has lost practically every privilege he had because of poor grades,  being disrespectful (though not to his teachers), and for being just a “pill” as my mom would say.  It has been rough but he has gotten better though this week he missed turning in two homework assignments and today he was very mouthy to me and his father because he feels like his punishment should be finished and he should get to do whatever he wants and earn his privileges back. He was told no, in no uncertain terms, and that lead to this exchange:

Him – I don’t understand why I can’t get everything back, I’ve done everything you guys asked of me

Me- Did you turn in your Latin roots homework and that math page?

Him – No, but that is the only thing and I haven’t gotten any privileges back

Me – So you don’t get to use your iPod after school and you didn’t go to a baseball game the other night?

Him- Yes but I want to take my iPod to school

Me- Nope. Not happening

Him – But I don’t understand why

Me – Because you have missed some homework assignments this week

Him – Only two

Me- The main reason is because I am your mom and I say so, and your dad agrees

Him – I just need a reason

Me – I gave you reasons

Him – Whatever. My haters are my motivators

Me – Nobody hates you and good. Let something motivate you or you won’t ever get to do anything with your friends the rest of this year.

Him – (singing some song that I can barely hear but I’m sure it was a delightful sentiment.)

Does your head hurt? Mine does and I was a participant.  You might be saying to yourself, or your loved one if they are reading over your shoulder, “all she had to say is ‘because I’m your mom’ ‘” and you are right. I can tell you, I have done that and it doesn’t stop him from asking the questions and honestly, I feel like he does need to know why because that is how he will learn. He is a very inquisitive kid and very strong willed. And yes, I know he’s the child and I am the parent.

I read something where you should let your child choose his own punishment. I tried that.  He chose making him work out, which he enjoys. Nice try, kid.

This is one of those “bang your head against a tree” situations.  I put that in quotes like it’s a real saying.  I KNOW my sweet loving funny kid is underneath all this mouth and bravado, somewhere.  At this point I want to start looking for a pod to see where my baby boy is then I can boot this alien back to Planet Infuriating  or that from whence he came. If only it were that simple.

bang-head-here

11 Responses to “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”

  1. Carol Clayton February 21, 2013 at 2:20 am #

    OH. YEAH. Well, let’s see. I am living the same reality except at 13 it’s truly horrifying. I don’t get it. My son was the loveliest easiest sweetest little boy ever. He was the child that tricked people that didn’t want children into having them because he was so undemanding, interesting and easy.

    Because he knows I’m not going to hit him , I took everything away and he wound up not caring about that. He actually says “Ground me, I’m going to do exactly what I want. You can’t stop me”. Now I have to call the police to make him go to school, or come home. Yes. That’s right. But that works. A guy in a uniform standing in my living room with a holstered weapon he will listen to.

    That said, things are beginning to improve. He did something for me this week, unasked. I tried not to make it too big a deal. Or too small a deal. It’s a fine fine line.

    • Amy February 21, 2013 at 1:27 pm #

      Well,I am glad things are improving a bit. I know what you mean about that fine line. Max hugged me out of nowhere the other day and I wanted to have a parade to commemorate it.

  2. Kelly February 21, 2013 at 2:26 am #

    yeah, people go on about how the teen years are the bad ones, but I swear 10-12 was a million times worse with mine! finally teen hormones (kinda) kicked in and he just wanted to be left alone to hang out with his friends.

    • Amy February 21, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

      Okay, I am holding you to this. One year from this April on his 13th birthday I’m expecting a change 🙂

  3. bensbitterblog February 21, 2013 at 3:22 am #

    Agggh 11 year olds. I have an 8 year old and she is having a hard time with not having a pet.

    • Amy February 21, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

      Man…I had heard about teen years but he is 11.ELEVEN.I was not expecting this kind of behavior yet.

      • bensbitterblog February 21, 2013 at 2:29 pm #

        Yes, 11 year olds aren’t allowed to act that way. Can you blame someone else, like say society or the internet or TV? Stupid internet…

  4. Anna Lea West February 21, 2013 at 2:31 pm #

    Oh snap. Did he really say, “Whatever. My haters are my motivators.” ??? Hahahaha! Did you kind of want to laugh?! That’s hilarious—although I know it’s not funny in the moment. Or is it … kind of?? Hope he gets through this rough phase! 🙂

    • Amy February 21, 2013 at 2:32 pm #

      He really did and yes…I did want to laugh, though I did not,but I do see the humor in it. He is a very funny kid, sometimes even on purpose at appropriate times 🙂 Thank you! I have faith that he will get through it…crossing my fingers that it will be relatively soon.

  5. Joker March 20, 2013 at 8:13 pm #

    Sounds like my kids. One I am going to put through college, the other I am going to put through a wall….

    • Amy March 21, 2013 at 4:30 pm #

      SIGH. YES. I can relate.

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