(Im)maturity and Halloween

1 Nov

‘Girls mature faster than boys’. This little chestnut is the kind of thing I heard when I would come home crying because some boy made fun of me for something, like the fact that my boobs were bigger than everybody else’s in elementary school (even the teacher), my hair was big and puffy (HEY DICK, people pay good money for perms), or that my dad’s title was ‘supervisor’ and some asswipe thought it was HILARIOUS to draw a picture of a SUN VISOR and label it ‘Amy’s dad’ (very clever, genius. That kid went on to be known as Carrot Top…I’m joking).

I don’t know if it was scientific fact or if it was my mom trying to tell me to hang in there and that soon enough the playing field would be level. She never let on that some boys would never mature just as some girls would always be catty, but that was a lesson best left to me to learn on my own, and I did.

I was reminded of this saying while going through my 11 year old son’s text messages earlier. He knows that until he is 18 this can happen anytime, and he left his phone out so I went through them. Honestly, most of the time they are hilarious conversations between him and his best buddy T (who went trick or treating with us) or another of his guy friends. They talk sports, school, parent problems, etc. Speaking of that, at one point last night when we were all driving to the neighborhood where we were going to trick or treat, my ex and I were singing obnoxiously loud to an old Whitesnake song (like there are any NEW Whitesnake songs…but I digress) when my 11 year old said to T ‘see what I mean?’ My ex and I gave each other a look that was a mix of ‘HA!’ and ‘Oh god…we’re those parents’ with a side of bemusement.

The messages were between my 11 and a girl he’s known and liked for a while. She’s the same girl who told him that now that she was ‘single’ he may ‘get a shot’ with her. She’s a pistol, this one. Anyway, he asked her if she was going to trick or treat and she said ‘yes, and I have my costume on and I look good. Like hot.’ His response was ‘I can’t wait to trick or treat. I love it. Mmmmm. Candy.’ Her response was ‘umm, ok.’ Later on she sent one that said ‘I had so much fun. Still in my costume’ and he said ‘I have to go shower. Cya.’

SO…unless this is some coded text speak and this is an 11 year old versions of sexting, he totally didn’t buy into her vixen in training act. This made me smile. Yes, honey….candy. Focus on the candy. There are many years to be concerned with girls in their ‘sexy kitty’ or ‘sexy bunny’ or ‘sexy raccoon’ or ‘sexy pirate’ costumes. I STILL don’t know if the little saying is true or if my son is just clueless …..either way, I’ll take it.

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