That’s Amore

4 Apr

Something unusual happened last Friday night.  My eldest and I ordered a pizza, which in itself isn’t unusual except that my youngest wasn’t home because he was with his dad.  What was unusual was how the pizza was delivered, by an elf who flew in on the back of a Pegasus.  No, not really, but it might as well have been. It was delivered by a very VERY cute man, MAN, not a cute 20 year old, but a man who looked like he could be my age-ish. Luckily, I was dressed for such an occasion in my best boxer shorts, green, pink and white v-neck t-shirt (sans bra) and beige hospital slippers. My hair was up in a ponytail, face freshly washed of any makeup and I was wearing my ugliest pair of glasses, the free ones I got when I was on Medicaid.

I don’t know if he saw my expression when I opened the door but I really wanted to slam it in his face and go slip into something a little less revolting but instead I said ‘hi’ and took the 2 liter of 7-up and gave him my credit card.  He said ‘that’s a big cat’ which I thought was kind of fresh until I realized my giant cat had jumped up onto the couch behind me. ‘I know’, I cleverly said, ‘we have GOT to stop feeding him pizza’ and then our eyes met and locked and sparkled and he laughed and I raised one eyebrow and thought to myself, If you enjoyed THAT silly little quip, hot pizza delivery man, just WAIT…I’m hilarious and I usually look much better than this…and I realized he was wearing glasses that looked almost just like mine, though he looked so much better in his than I looked in mine. It was kismet.

This magic moment of mutual appreciation was interrupted by a very snarky voice saying ‘we never feed him pizza. We hardly ever even order pizza.’ I glanced over at my child to try and give him some kind of ‘quiet dear, mommy’s flirting’ face but I realized I have no such face and if I did, he wouldn’t honor the request.  What he said was a lie of course; we order pizza almost every Friday night. I wanted to try and think of a way to let this man know that I was available and that if he played his cards right, he could be wining and dining his way into my plaid boxer shorts…well, mostly dining since I can’t drink much anymore because of Coumadin.  (AH….lust in my 40’s will be so much fun).  He knew I was funny, he could tell I was a snappy dresser, I think he appreciated my taste in glasses. Not sure what more needed to happen for this to work out.

I know I actually have a really weird sense of self. I vacillate between having NO self esteem and having an abundance of it.  I really do kind of think many people are flirting with me when in fact they are just doing their job.  The guy who works the coffee cart at work gives me 30% off. The fact that everyone wearing scrubs gets 30% off doesn’t really enter into my reality.  BUT I really do think this guy and I shared a moment. When he walked away he looked back like 4 times as he walked to his car. Maybe following him out and taking my hair out of my ponytail while simultaneously applying lip gloss caused that, but I really don’t think so.  I won’t DO anything. If something’s meant to happen, it’ll happen, but the fact that I actually found someone attractive is a really good sign.  This coupled with the guy who tried to get me to follow him as I pulled out of the gas station was a pretty nice little ego boost. Perhaps the universe is just reminding me that literally and metaphorically speaking, my broken heart should be healing, and I should get out there and get on with living again.

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