Life Lessons and Baseball

9 Mar

As a mom, I know not everyone is going to like my children. I know there are some wackadoos out there who don’t like funny, cute, smart little boys for whatever reason. In all seriousness, I really do know not everyone will like my boys.  As a former pre-school teacher, I know there were some kids I just didn’t like.  I also know that the kids I didn’t like, and their parents, had no idea I didn’t like them.  As an adult who worked with children I knew how important it was to fake it. The last thing I wanted was to make some child feel like their teacher disliked them.  I can recall the first and last names of the teachers who didn’t like me when I was in elementary school, the ones who were not smart enough to pretend otherwise anyway.  Unfortunately, an assistant coach on my son’s baseball team not only doesn’t like him, he has no desire to even pretend to act like he likes him to me or my ex, or my son.

I’m the team mom for my son’s team.  I’m in the dugout helping the kids to bat in the proper order and helping them with whatever they need. My ex, my son’s dad, is the head coach. The assistant coach, we’ll call him Assy McDouchepants, constantly makes negative comments about my son. My son wants to be the catcher and no other kid does, so he is THE catcher until another kid wants to do it. McDouchepants will count how many balls my son catches, and as soon as he misses one, he LOUDLY proclaims how he should have gotten that ball, sit back, dive for it, scoot up, don’t dive for it, scoot back, put your glove up, put your glove down; a ball, mind you, that was thrown by a 11 year old and not exactly an ideal pitch.  He does this every time he misses a ball. Never mind that the kid on third is playing in the dirt, the kid on first is picking his nose, there is no kid on second, and the outfielders have started double dutch jump roping. These comments go beyond helpful coaching and I know constructive criticism when I hear it. This ain’t it.

One game I had heard enough and I asked Assy McDouchepants what his problem was, and why he was constantly on my child when the other ones, including his own, were not exactly pros either.  He told me that my son had missed 4 out of the past 8 pitches and blah blah blah. Nothing good or rational. I realize I shouldn’t have done it, probably not a good example for the kids. In my defense I held WAY back. I wanted to slam his face into the side of the dugout, but I did not. I listened and realized that I was dealing with someone who just didn’t like my son and nothing I said would make a difference.

I have no delusions about my children. I KNOW they are not perfect. My 11 year old thinks he knows everything about sports, he is stubborn and he has very selective hearing. Look up 11 year old boy in the dictionary and MOST, if not all of those traits, will be listed.  He is also very sweet, funny, smart, sensitive and polite. He has NEVER been disrespectful to Assy McDouchepants and listens to all that McDouchepants has to say, even when he is being falsely accused of complaining about bad calls when he was in reality talking to ME about how disappointed he was in himself for striking out.  Ex is in a bad position because he has nobody else to help him coach so he can’t rip the guy a new one, though I know he wants to just as much as I do.

The second to last game of the season was last night and I don’t know all of the serenity prayer by heart, but I was saying what I know of it.  I didn’t lose my cool and neither did my son. Ex did some very creative bird shooting while coaching, which was amusing to me at least.  Luckily my son hasn’t asked me why Assy doesn’t like him, but I believe he knows that he doesn’t. My son is very smart and doesn’t miss anything.  If he asks me, I will tell him what I tell myself still sometimes,  ‘Some people just won’t like you. It’s not worth wasting time on trying to figure out why’.  I am SO glad that the regular season is almost over, though my son did make the all-star team so it is not the end of baseball yet. Assy’s son did not. I wish I didn’t take such pleasure in that, though the pleasure is that I won’t see Assy again rather than my kid is better than his at baseball. What? It’s true. Totally.

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