A Flair for the Dramatic

4 Feb

I watched 127 Hours this weekend and what an amazing movie. If I hadn’t known the story was true it would have seemed like a purely incredible piece of fiction.  Aron Ralston’s will to live was truly inspiring.  I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to drink my own urine much less saw off my own arm. Let’s all hope I don’t because I have a feeling I would be awful about it afterwards, ‘can’t get me a glass of water? Really? I cut off my own fucking arm, but okay’.

Fight or flight of the human spirit is something most of us haven’t experienced on the level that Aron did. The closest I came to fight or flight was when I was at a party, a baby shower no less, and some guys thought we had said something to them and they ran up to us and wanted to fight the guys we were with. It was ridiculous but I wouldn’t move out of the way so the guys could get to my guy friend and the other guy punched me in the arm. Hard. I was bruised for a while. I was actually kind of proud of myself for that. I didn’t run away to keep myself from being hurt.

I would like to hope that I would have the will to live but I can’t honestly say whether I would or not.  I can say without a doubt that I would protect my children and loved ones. I have, perhaps foolishly, put myself in harms way to protect others before. I think I can see myself doing that again before I can see myself going to great lengths to save myself, but who knows.

One of the most interesting things about the movie is how it dealt with Aron’s own ego. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going because he thought of himself as almost a super being. That same ego though more than likely kept him alive and gave him the strength to literally saw his own arm off to save himself.  It was also interesting how the notion of fate and the fact that the rock had always been there for Aron was addressed. As if this was meant to happen.

I don’t know about that either. I do know I tend to tell myself that things happen for a reason because thinking that life is just a series of mishaps and near misses is just too damn depressing for me. I guess we can look at the rock as a metaphor.  He was literally between a rock and a hard place, fight or flight, and in this case flight would equal death. He chose to do whatever he needed to do to get on with living.

As I face another Monday, it seems REALLY silly to do anything other than the same thing. No, I don’t have to saw my own arm off to live, but every day that I don’t try to get myself out of this hole I’m in and get myself into the sunshine to start to live and do something that I enjoy, that I can make money doing, and that can get my children and myself into a better situation than we are in, it feels like I’m just withering away. That’s the easier thing to do. Yeah, I’m being overdramatic, absolutely, but this is my life. If I’m not dramatic about it who will be?

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